spiritual flab

I’m just going to come right out and say it… I’m a bit of a diva. A primadonna, a miss-priss. However you want to phrase it, go ahead…I won’t be offended. It’s true.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m strong – in some ways. I’m not an airhead, and I’m not all about fluff. Some parts of me are sharp and quick – just not the physical ones.

Most of all, I do NOT like discomfort.

I like the heat cranked in the winter, and the A/C on in the summer (though, admittedly, not quite as frigid as my family prefers). I don’t camp; my idea of vacation involves lounging oceanside or poolside, with a nice cold drink in hand. I like good mattresses, soft sheets and my special pillow. I am accustomed to comfort.

It’s for this reason that I dislike exercise; it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like to sweat, or feel the burn of underworked muscles being engaged more than they typically are. I don’t like the discipline that exercise requires. I don’t like being stretched or strained or pushed. Sure, this kind of discomfort isn’t harmful. In fact, quite the opposite. Discomfort in this case, and in many (dare I say MOST) cases is actually good for us in some way. While not pleasant, by any means, even the presence of pain is useful in alerting us to a problem, and driving us to find the cause and a remedy.

squat

I’ve been thinking a lot about this correlation between my dislike of discomfort and the current angst that I can so easily find myself in, and certainly see many others in, when I look at the state of affairs in the culture in which we live. Here in America, it seems our political system is spiraling out of control and is barely more than a bad reality show. We see battle lines being drawn not only on a national level, but among local communities, friends and even family members. The social media wars rage on, with everyone (and I do mean everyone, myself included) feeling quite self-righteous in our stances as we quip back and forth and stare aghast at what we perceive to be the “other side’s” ignorance or idiocy.

But increasingly, like an itch I’ve been trying to ignore, the words of scripture…the very ones that I claim to love and want to live by…keep pressing in on my heart and mind, challenging and convicting me of my own attitudes and words.

Surely the beloved Bible phrases I grew up memorizing and singing about can’t POSSIBLY apply now, to these situations, in these crazy times in which we live!!

Can they?

Things like “love your enemy”, “pray for those who persecute you” and “turn the other cheek” were not meant for moments like these! Moments when surely God, His Word and the very essence of all things “Christian” needs to be “stood up for”….right??

Surely something like “our battle is not against flesh and blood” doesn’t apply when the local school board is removing prayer right out from under us, right?? Surely not. Because Jesus encouraged public prayer, right? (Might want to check out this verse on that topic…)

(Edit for clarity: Please note, the above was said tongue-in-cheek; I very much think Jesus meant we are supposed to love our enemies, even in the most difficult of circumstances. I think the Gospel is meant to be lived…not defended. I am not advocating “standing up for our rights”…but rather questioning if we are actually called to do so.)

Increasingly all these types of words and phrases (and there are a LOT of them) bounce in my head in a very uncomfortable way. They begin to feel akin to discipline and exercise. They make me squirm with discomfort.

They were awesome, beautiful, inspiring words….when I never had to actually act on them in any way that pushed or challenged me; when I could gaze at them or sing about them.

It all reminds me quite a bit of my “Fitness” board on Pinterest. I scroll leisurely along looking at all those workouts, strength training moves and think “Oh yes! That’s awesome! I could do that!!” Until that one ambitious day when I try it for about 30 seconds…and it HURTS. It’s not easy or comfortable. And I say “Oh, heck no!” And I move on. Because while I adore the IDEA of fitness…the reality of it, and the discomfort it brings are something entirely different.

I can only speak for myself, but within my lifetime, I wouldn’t say that my faith has been particularly put to the test. In my teen years, the popular thing was to encourage people to be “bold” about their faith by talking about their beliefs to others, praying around a flag pole one day a year, and wearing Christian t-shirts. Our version of “sold out” for Jesus was listening to only Christian music (I was really bad at that one) and taking purity pledges (another topic altogether). My point is…these things were considered cutting edge Christianity…when in reality, this was probably a bit more like “diva discipleship”. It’s not exactly hard to stand up for your faith when it is largely unchallenged. (Again, this is my own experience. I know others have had a harder time living their faith in more difficult situations than my own.) When you live in a culture that pretty much says “OK, whatever…” to anyone’s beliefs, the worst form of “persecution” is often simply someone expressing disagreement with you. (By the way, this isn’t actually persecution.)

I hear lots of people expressing more and more frustration about losing their “rights”…and yet I have to wonder… Are we maybe actually just beginning to experience some real life opportunities to apply in real-time the claims we have made for so long? At what point are we supposed to give more than lip service the VERY difficult realities that are implied when we talk about being committed followers of Jesus…ones who are TOLD that we are to take up a cross of our own (not referring to the pretty gold one I wear around my neck); the ones who are told that in order to find life we need to be willing to lay down our own; the ones claim to want to be transformed into the likeness of our Lord, but seem to forget he was the One who gave up every last right of His own.

I think, because we have not NEEDED to remember, that we have forgotten what is most amazing about God and his ways is that they are not the ways that would come most natural, and make the most sense to us. They are ways that seem like foolishness. They are ways that say the first will be last and the last will be first; that the weak are the strong; that the poor are the rich. We have forgotten…or maybe simply never known…that the realities of living “Thy Kingdom Come” means living in upside-down ways at every turn. We’ve grown comfortable in our “diva discipleship”, but God is calling us toward spiritual fitness. He’s giving us opportunity to use some muscles we haven’t had to previously…and admittedly, it’s a bit awkward and unsure, and leaves us a little tired and sore.

I will say again, at least speaking for myself… I’m a bit out of Kingdom shape. I’ve gotten a bit flabby from living a life a ease, and I’m still somewhat kicking against the goads of the new exercise opportunities being offered to me (as is always my M.O. when it comes to fitness…just ask my husband). But I can at least see that it’s time, and there are a lot of people looking at self-proclaimed Christians, wondering if we are willing to actually walk the talk when the road gets a little bumpier than the paved paths we’ve enjoyed in the past.

They say when it comes to exercise, it’s always better to have a workout buddy – a partner who will kick you in the butt and not only TELL you to do the right thing, but will get out there and do it with you, when all you want to do is sit on the couch and eat chocolate and drink Moscato. (I’m sure that’s not just me, right??) So…I’m game. Anybody else wanna start working some of that spiritual flab with me??

healing the body

Autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, celiac disease, lupus, MS, and Type 1 diabetes are horrible illnesses that wreak havoc on their sufferers.

The definition of an autoimmune disease is basically a disease where the body turns on and starts attacking it’s own tissue, leading to it’s own deterioration or even destruction. It usually involves a great deal of inflammation and pain, and is a frustrating, even agonizing, state of being. It is when the body gets confused over who the real enemy is, and what it’s supposed to be fighting against (real diseases or toxins, etc.) and instead, starts fighting with its own self. The conventional methods to dealing with this phenomena usually involve treating only the symptoms…trying to best deal with the resulting pain rather than digging deeper to try to get at what might be more root causes. Sometimes these “fixes” also end up causing more damage to the body. What is often needed is a time consuming process of learning to be sensitive, in tune, exploratory and open to new ideas to see if the disease can be dealt with at a more foundational level. This approach requires a lot of commitment to the process, trial and error, patience and a firm belief that the body is worth it. That healing can ultimately come if the real root issues are able to be addressed.

However, this post is not actually one about physical illness. I have no medical background whatsoever. But as I have spent some time reading about these ailments, I was struck by something of a more spiritual nature that seems to parallel the physical.

Sadly, I think the Church may have an autoimmune disease.

It seems to me that the Church may be losing sight of who it really is, what it’s purpose is, and rather than working together to fight an Enemy that the Bible tells us is, in fact, real…we instead have turned on each other and are fighting ourselves, causing deterioration and destruction within our own Body. Just like an autoimmune disease.

First let me present the picture of health that the Church is meant to be. The Bible says that the Church is people…people that have committed themselves to living out the life and representation of Jesus and his ministry on the earth, through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. The Bible also gives us a beautiful picture of diversity, working together in unity, by giving us the analogy of the Church as a body. It says in 1 Corinthians 12 that the body is one unit, made up of many differing parts that all are in desperate need of one another; none is able to say of itself that it is greater than any other.

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ~ 1 Cor. 12:11

Somehow, we have moved from an understanding of this, to a mindset that thinks we are allowed to look at one another and scoff, demean and criticize. We think that as a leg, which is a big part of the body, a strong part of the body, a very visible part of the body…we can turn and start mocking the foot which can be a bit gnarled looking, is usually hidden away and can stink from time to time. But as a leg…go ahead and try standing without that foot. Even the less-than-glamorous parts play a vital role.

In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. ~1 Cor. 12:22-24

We take aim and fire shots…small churches “call out” the perceived “showiness” of mega-churches, and the community-sized churches write off the house churches as not legit. Some churches focus heavily on study, while others seem to emphasize service…and each finds the other in error. All, of course, claim their own rootedness in being The Way the church should “Biblically” be. But who is right?

I think it is imperative to recognize our disease, and begin to address it at the root in order to bring healing to the whole body. We must stop attacking ourselves, causing pain and destruction. We must remember that there is an outside force of evil that wants to come against us, and when we are healthy and functional, we are equipped and able to defeat it…but not when we are in a weakened state of turning our energies on ourselves.

Churches will be as varied and diverse as the peoples that comprise them. There will be churches full of intellectual thinkers and churches full of passionate artists. There will be churches who find reassurance of Truth in the words of liturgy, and others who find freedom of Truth in the mysterious ways of the Holy Spirit.

Which church is right for all these people? There isn't just one...

Which church is right for all these people? There isn’t just one…

There will be small churches, whose people learn to be disciples in discussion around a coffee table. Congregations made up families who are intimately in each others lives; whose ‘outreach’ looks like neighborhood backyard barbecues and bringing meals for the new mom; whose mission is serving at a local soup kitchen. They might reach people who feel like they just don’t “fit” in a traditional church setting, or who feel lost in a crowd of people.

There will be large churches whose members learn in big group settings, with recognized speakers who have powerful testimonies of their own faith journeys. They will be able to equip people with a variety of resources and forms of media. They can hold outreach events which can be a blessing on a large scale to an entire community or send missions to foreign lands where physical needs are great. They will have the ability to welcome someone who wants to be able to “test the waters” of church without having to feel like they stand out as “the new guy” in an already tight-knit community, or who is still too hurt or guarded from past experiences to be ready to vulnerable in new relationships just yet.

People are as varied as the sands of the shore. We have innumerable differences, needs, preferences, strengths, weaknesses and circumstances. Wouldn’t it only stand to reason that a God who so passionately wants to connect and have relationship with us would provide as many types and styles of churches as it takes for everyone to be able to find a place within His Body? There isn’t a right one or a wrong one. But there is one. There is a place available for every person within the Body of Christ. It might take some trial and error. It will take working together. It will take acknowledging that each part holds some value, some function….even if it is an entirely different one than our own. It will even take being able to so value another part of the Body that we defer to them, prefer them, maybe even promote them above ourselves. It could mean helping someone find their best fit in a church other than our own.

It means ruthless intolerance of turning on and fighting against our own Body, and instead joining together against an outside force that would wish to see humanity’s destruction. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us the devil is like a lion, seeking to destroy. He is the outside sickness, the toxin that wants to come against the Body, and we need to be in full health to stand against that.

My hope is that we are able to once again remember what Jesus’ prayer was as His time on earth came to an end, and he looked toward handing things over to those who would remain…us, the Church. He asked his Father for something thing that would stand as such a powerful witness that a watching world would know the Truth. He asked that his followers would walk in unity; a unity as strong as what they shared as Father and Son.

“I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one.  I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” ~John 17:22-23

We can divide up into our little camps and come up with all the outreach and ministry strategies we want. But plain and simple, here’s the one that Jesus himself came up with and prayed for his Church.

Unity. Let a watching world see unity.

Let’s pray and work and make the necessary changes to see a Body that is no longer fighting against itself, but rather standing as a picture of health, demonstrating love and oneness within a vast array of beautiful diversity.

out of focus

Sometimes God speaks to my heart in the most random, “unspiritual” moments.

Like last week, when we had our family pictures done. Despite what any of these pictures may turn out looking like, let me assure you, the hour plus of photo shooting was anything but “ethereal” in any way. There was bickering, huffing and general barking orders like…

“Smile right now and LOOK HAPPY!! Teeth! Show me teeth!!”

My daughter is a photographer, and according to her we, on the whole, were one of the worst subject groups to have to work with.

Whatever. We are what we are… which, in the words of Jen Hatmaker would be a “spicy family”. So be it.

Anyway, amidst the bickering and shoving and throwing the youngest brother in the air and dropping him (yes, that really happened) there was this moment when God infused an “aha” moment into my heart. It was during this shot…

Clemmer Family (45 of 100)

I was searching around Pinterest a little while ago and saw a similar family setup and loved the concept of each kid with their “thing”…a prop that was representative of them in some way. I loved the idea and told my daughter right away I wanted to do this, and made sure each kid grabbed their item on the way to the shoot.

I loved the idea that Todd and I were in the background of the shot, as we very much feel that our heart as parents is to really help our kids find their passion and then help launch them forward into those things. I felt the picture would capture that sentiment well.

But there was a point during the shoot where the photographer who was taking the photo (the photographer my daughter works for took the shots that she was actually in) asked us if I wanted Todd and myself to be out of focus…a bit blurry…in the background.

That was my “aha” moment.

Do I want to be ‘out of focus’? 

I felt like there was this download of both understanding and complete peace as my brain quickly processed the question.

Yes, absolutely we should be out of focus. Because that’s the heart of parenting…teaching…leadership of any kind!

The idea that you are given this gift…this child, this student, this person or group that you are given stewardship of…in order to bring them from roughness, rawness, obscurity into front and center focus. To make a positional transfer, as they develop, grow and mature, from being the one that they “follow” to being the one who comes behind to support them as they move up and out.

Even as I gave my answer to the photographer, I felt like I was answering some sort of oath or vow that was being asked of me…

Do you, as a mom…as a mentor…as a leader…want to become increasingly out of focus in the big picture?

And in my heart, in that moment, I spoke my “I Do”.

I do want to see my kids, and anyone else that I have been given the privilege to influence, go further, do more, be better than I ever have. I do want to be a steady runner, who is able to effectively and smoothly hand off that baton of influence. I do want to see them rise to the occasion and walk into their destiny… but also approach their calling and purpose in life with the same understanding that it’s not JUST about them; that even as they flourish and thrive, it will now be up to them to bring along others, who THEY will one day push forward, knowing the blessing of joy and contentment doesn’t just come from fulling THEIR purpose, but from helping others to walk out the same.

To be honest, maybe this seems like a no-brainer or “duh” moment for you. Certainly, it’s something I’ve known in my head for years, but as my kids grow and move toward independence it’s something I need to increasingly take root in my heart. One of the things I can tend to struggle with is the fear of being “overlooked” or left out. I don’t like the thought of “empty nest” season; I love being involved with my kids and their lives. However, deep down I know that the real goal of parenting, teaching or leadership is ultimately….release. I’m thankful for this good dose of God’s grace to be giving me these kind of downloads and reminders now and letting me process them a bit before these seasons are fully upon me.

I know, I know….that’s a whole lot of “deep thoughts” to come out of one moment, in one chaotic family photo session in the middle of the woods, on a random Monday afternoon.

But that’s really how God is, isn’t He?. He’s not waiting for us to be sitting quietly in a church pew to speak to us. He’s in all of our everyday, normal, mundane, crazy moments, and I’m really glad He’s willing to use whatever random thing He knows will connect with us in order to reveal and remind us of truth and teach us wisdom.

Good thing, too…because, frankly, in my ‘spicy’ family, let’s be real….there’s just not a whole lot of quiet anything….ever!

are you willing to go all in?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things that I am passionate about. Things that I have all the thoughts, feelings and opinions on. Things that I want to spend my life on. Things like my kids, my marriage, my ministry.

And while I find these are things that I love from the depths of my being…they are things that all require a whole darn lot from me. A lot of time, commitment, money. A lot of evaluating my priorities, and making choices. Saying yes to some things means saying no to others…and vice versa…and it’s a fact that I can’t say all yeses, so I want my best yeses to go to the things I care the most about.

When I think about my passions, I find this is a very real, delicate and practical process that I must enter into, this evaluation of who and what get my resources, and really, who and what gets the most and best of Me. Where do I want to “go all in”?

Can I just say, the reality is, anything you feel passionately about, anything worth pursuing will require something from you. You will need to make an investment.

You’ll need to put in time, money, prayer, maybe make physical sacrifices.

It may hurt. There WILL be a cost.

But if you love something….or someone…enough, you’ll find yourself amazingly willing to try to make things happen. To give what’s needed. To do whatever. it. takes.

If you want to understand someone, you’ll learn to swallow your pride and listen to a different viewpoint. It might be hard. You may choke a bit on your own thoughts and opinions for a while. But if you love them, you’ll learn to deal with it.

If you earnestly care about a topic…maybe dietary or lifestyle changes you or your family will benefit from, a cause that needs an advocate, a disease that needs a cure….you’ll invest time in reading and learning all about it.

If you have children that you see gifted in certain areas, you might find ways to cut your budget or somehow earn more to pay for those lessons. You’ll somehow squeeze another hour…or a few…out of your already overpacked schedule to haul them to practices, to help with coaching or to cheer from the sidelines.

I venture to say if you had a very dear friend or family member who was in need of a kidney, and you were a donor match, you’d likely find yourself signing on the line and jumping on an operating table.

When we TRULY love and care about someone or something, we find ourselves searching to move heaven and earth to do what it takes to put action to what is in your heart.

Action is the true indicator of how invested in something we really are.

If you find yourself giving a lot of lip-service to a lot of things, you might want to take a personal inventory to find out where your true devotions lie. Let’s be real and practical here…none of us can care 100% about all the people, all the causes, all the things. It’s exhausting, draining, guilt inducing…and thus, completely ineffective.

But if we all passionately love enough to act on the thing that is really rooted in our heart….the thing that maybe no one else cares about quite as much as we do…we, as a whole, will accomplish so much more. If ten people actually do ten different things, more will get done than if 100 people sit and feel overwhelmed by 100 different things.

You be you, and love your thing. Love it full-on, wholeheartedly and enough to spur you to action. Do it unapologetically, and with abandon.

And in the process…release everyone else. Please.

Stop glaring at them for not sharing your passion, your cause or your adulation for your kids. Everyone’s got their own thing….and THAT IS GOOD. Don’t judge people and condemn them for not sharing your zeal for your thing.

Jesus put it this way when one of his disciples got a little bent out of shape that another one of the twelve might not be on the same path he was….

“Turning his head, Peter noticed the disciple Jesus loved following right behind. When Peter noticed him, he asked Jesus, “Master, what’s going to happen to him?”

Jesus said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you? You—follow me.” (John 21:21 The Message)

Don’t worry about everyone else. Find what is burning in your heart and go after it. When people inquire, by all means, tell them all about it! Gush over it!  Share your motivation, your heart…help them to understand why you care so much. (Just leave out the guilt trip about what losers everyone who doesn’t share your viewpoint are.)

Make the investments and sacrifices. Pay the costs. Read, learn, pray…act.

Those people, that cause, that calling, that ministry….they need you. They need you to not hold back, but to go all in. You carry in your heart what no one else does in the exact same way. You’ll bring nuances that only you can. You have a unique perspective that contributes what only you can.

Lose the negativity and energy wasting of looking around for who’s going to join you and just go.

Because if you don’t champion them….who will?

surviving social media

There used to be an unwritten rule of etiquette that it was never a good idea to openly discuss religion or politics. Those topics, because of their highly sensitive and personal nature, were better reserved for close-circle conversation.

That line of thinking has certainly gone the way of the dinosaur, and all the more so in this age of social media.

It used to be that to know what a person thought about any given topic, you had to…well, ya know…actually know the person. Or minimally, have a conversation with them. If you were going to disagree or challenge them, you had to do it live and in person.

Unless you were a public figure with some sort of platform, we didn’t just all know each other’s thoughts, beliefs, opinions and political affiliation without having an actual knowledge of the person that held them.

With every advancement in communication, which by and large is a useful, helpful progression in our world, we each, as a by-product, gain a bigger audience. It’s no longer just a politician, a teacher, or a pastor that has a platform…everyone with an account and a password just gained a stage.

man-person-apple-iphone

I’ve been giving quite a lot of consideration to this stage we all now occupy with our online presence. It’s especially thought provoking during election seasons like we are currently in. It seems like political activity stirs everyone’s fire about ALL THE THINGS, and I know (because, of course, I read people’s posts on social media!) that I’m not the only one who is beginning to feel uncomfortable with the amount of information we are learning about people and their “stances”.

And it’s not JUST political or religious views. People share waaaay TMI about other things too. Personal things. The kind of things that aren’t necessarily a secret, but used to be reserved for one-on-one conversation over a cup of coffee, or minimally a phone call (Remember those? The kind where we used to talk into our devices instead of just pressing buttons?)

Now, before you write me off as stodgy and outdated, hear me out. I am a HUGE fan of social media. Frankly, Facebook is how I communicate with most of the people in my life. And my cell phone? Well, let’s just say there’s no stone throwing coming from me! I text my kids if they are on the second floor and I’m on the first and too tired (lazy?) to yell for them!

I am, by all means, preaching to myself as much as anyone. It’s a social media hole I see myself so easily being sucked into, but I’m hoping that I, that we, aren’t too far along to realize how to come back and bring some grounding balance to our virtual and our real lives.

Here’s my biggest concern with all this. I think we are bypassing KNOWING people and settling for knowing ABOUT people. We don’t see people’s fear, hurt, love or compassion when we only process the things we know about them that we learn from statuses, tweets and soundbites.

There was a quote I read recently that I think gets to the core of this matter.access

This, to me, hits the nail on the head. When I am putting myself out there on social media, I am giving every acquaintance I have, every Facebook “friend”, every Twitter follower, and countless other people even completely unknown to me access to my thoughts and opinions, as well as opportunity to feed back into them, comparable to that which I normally give my friends and family or those that I share conversation with.

Increasingly, this really bothers me. I started a while ago to be a bit more selective with my Facebook posts, and created specific lists of people that I want to share things with. Even more importantly I try (though not always successfully, unfortunately!) to avoid “hot topic” debates or just randomly touting my beliefs…especially the ones that I am afraid people might misunderstand, and with people that don’t actually know me in real life, or know me well enough to know where I am coming from when I say things. (Again, I’m a work in progress on this.)

So, I have general lists and specific lists. I have lists titled ‘Acquaintances’, ‘Friends’, ‘Close Friends’ and ‘Bests’, and I share accordingly. And frankly, I still haven’t tightened things up quite as much as I should. But it’s a step that I’ve taken to restrict ‘access’ to myself…out of respect for both myself and others

The thing is, I’m not a secretive person. Transparency and “realness”  are high values of mine. It’s not that I don’t want people to know the “real” me…it’s more than I actually want to be known for real. I don’t want to be just a profile picture with an opinion. I want to be known for more than the “side” I’m on, and I want my beliefs to be more thoughtful than the latest meme.

And while I appreciate input into my life, the reality is, there is a limit  to the amount and type of feedback I want, and who I want it from. I truly desire perspective and advice, but I want it coming from those that I trust. I want it coming the people in my life that I have real, committed, caring relationships with. I don’t want those voices, that I value and are rooted in the security of knowing that they know and love me to be drowned out by the throng of opinions voiced by anyone who happens to agree or disagree with a status or a “share”. I can so easily get caught up in the vicious cycle of seeking “approval” that nastily takes over my thoughts and stirs up worry and anxiety over what others think of me.

And honestly, I want to think better of others, too. I don’t want to be placing negative assumptions about people’s entire characters based on a “like” or a comment, or something else that is so surface. It can be hard to keep an open and positive opinion of people that you seemingly disagree with on a lot of things if that is the ONLY interaction you have. It seems that we have forgotten that people are more than just a list of bullet-point opinions or arguments. People form their beliefs, not just based on a teaching, debate or understanding of a topic. Rather their deepest held values are formed by their experiences….their hurts, their triumphs, the relationships they’ve had, the circumstances they’ve lived. Sometimes I don’t connect with a person’s thoughts on a matter until I understand their story. Then, I am able to hear not just WHAT they are saying, but have a better understanding of WHY they are saying it. While I may not share their viewpoint, I can certainly at least see their perspective.

Social media often isn’t conducive to this, in part because we cannot see a face or hear a voice. So much is communicated not just in our words, but in our expressions, our tones and our body language. I can read about a friend’s struggle and breeze past it all much easier when it’s just words on a screen than if they are sitting in front of me with tears in their eyes as they convey the exact same thing.

I hope that as the world continues to move at a mind-dizzying pace of technology that we learn to adjust and adapt, and that part of that adaptation is returning to the art of personal relationship. The kind that includes actual human contact, and not just words and personas behind the glow of a screen; conversation complete with eye contact.

I’d like to reiterate that in all this, I’m certainly not trying to convey judgement or tell anyone how to interact on social media. I’m just trying to navigate all of this myself, and process (ironically, via this form of social media…yes, the irony is not lost on me) my concerns about the truth that we are all still people with real feelings, and we owe it to each other not to make snap judgments about people without ever giving them enough respect to have any real, live interaction.

So, please tell me… Do you struggle with the whole social media aspect of our world? How do you find balance, as well as work at keeping interactions positive? Maybe we can learn from each other and help keep the forces of our increasingly virtual reality more positive in nature!