Tag Archives: encouragement

what was I thinking??

Posted on by
Reply

Every time I wanted to have a baby…from the first, to the fourth…Todd would ask me the same question…

“What will we do with it?”

I would laugh at his silliness…his implication that parenting would be complicated.  I’d say wonderfully naïve things like…

 “We’ll just LOVE it!!”

Yeah.  That was my parenting philosophy.  “Love is all we need.”  I was obviously thinking of adorable, snuggly little bundles smelling of Baby Magic with a perfect little rosebud mouth.  Even thinking of it now makes me go all mushy inside.

I was obviously not thinking of sleepless nights, vomit on the bed/carpet/me, scary temper tantrums, night terrors or endless piles of laundry.

I was not thinking of doctor appointments, dentist appointments, haircut appointments, or teacher conference appointments.

I was not thinking of having ‘The Talk’, answering questions about words that make even me blush (something I don’t think is easy to do), helping with homework, teaching them to drive, or having to carefully calculate and plan when my husband and I could sneak in some intimacy without being ‘caught’ and scarring our children forever.

I was not thinking of having to figure out how to pay for tuition, music lessons, little league, birthday presents for 20 friends per kid (who said these children could have so many friends anyway?!?), field trips, or school activities…in addition to the rising cost of food, clothing and shelter for these ever-growing bodies!

I was not thinking of running in 4 directions, occasionally at the same time, on the same day, to taxi them to orchestra/band/musical/baseball…or any other given activity, and how nearly impossible and utterly draining this seemingly simple task can be.

I was not thinking of these kinds of words that I cannot believe I hear myself uttering, like…

“Do you not see the snow outside?  No, you may not play outside in shorts!!”

 

“Please stay off the roof, and don’t play with knives until dad or I gets back.”

(Do you understand the implication of that statement?  We let our children play on the roof, and with knives!!  Good grief!)

I was not thinking of cuts, scrapes, fevers, sprains, stitches, allergies, migraines or surgery.  (All unrelated to the roof or the knives, I promise!!)

I was not thinking of the countless hours of teaching, correcting, discussing, question-answering, imploring, encouraging, apologizing, worrying…and praying. 

I was not thinking of the self-directed anger, frustration and sense of personal failure for not doing a ‘better job’ at all of the aforementioned.

Today, this week, this month, in particular…I feel the weight of all the things I didn’t think of pressing intensely in on me, and I’m wondering how on earth to function in other areas of life, (like jobs and ministry and socializing) because couldn’t we all (moms AND dads!) spend every waking hour (and some non-waking ones too!) pouring into, cultivating and helping our kids grow?  Yes, I do think we could.  It’s a daunting, beyond expressing adequately with words task.

And in these moments, I find the best thing to do is…

Just remember my original plan.

“We’ll just love them.”

Because sometimes I miss appointments, overlook important emails, we arrive late to practices, and I forget to send lunches and permission slips.  I’m so not perfect (or even really good!) at this.  All too often I get wrapped up and overcome by this reality.

But today, I decided, I’m going to focus on the one thing I will say that I’ve nailed…one goal that I’ve met.

I LOVE MY KIDS. DSC_0126

Today I resolve to enjoy them.  I will be thankful for baseball laundry, and look forward to ‘Little League Opening Day’.  I will shuttle kids to musical practice and beam with pride at all their talent and guts to get up and perform in front of hundreds of people.  I will stand up and “woot woot!!” the loudest at the curtain calls.  I will congratulate them on good grades, and tell them “It’s ok as long as you did your best” on the not-so-good ones.  I will put out of my mind the to-do list and remind myself that I’ve been too distracted, and that to-do list will never be gone, but one day these kiddos will be…and I will choose to not miss these moments. 

And I will feel good about accomplishing what I set out to do…

“Just love them!!”

switching mountains

Posted on by
6

Has there ever been a prequel to a blog post?  Well, there is now…

Prequel:

While this may appear like simply another blog post to you, I discovered something til I got to the end of writing it.  It’s actually myself I’m writing to today.  It may seem I am talking to you…and I am…but really, I’m talking to me.  I’m in the midst of lots of swirl, and I’m needing to regroup.  It wasn’t until I was done the post that I realized I was actually just processing and reminding myself of what I know I need to hear.  Hopefully you’ll feel encouraged by it, but if it doesn’t connect with you, that’s okay too.  I think I was supposed to write it to connect with me.  (Is that weird??) :)

Post:

Today is just “one of those days”.  Well, frankly, it’s been “one of those” weeks (or months?)!  The kind where my head is spinning, the mountain of to-do’s is threatening to crash in on me, and all that I really want to do is hide in my room with a cup of tea and catch up on Downton Abbey.  (Yes, I’m still in Season 2, and all you people on the internet are killin’ me with all your travesty and mourning over whatever happened at the end of Season 3!!  Don’t tell me!  *sticks fingers in ears*  I’m not listening, I’m not listening…lalala!!)

I’m currently reading a book in which the author mentioned observing that we all talk about how “crazy-busy” we are these days.  Not just “busy”, we are “CRAZY-busy”.  And frankly, no one even really cares to hear how crazy-busy we are…because we are all in the same boat, for the most part.  We are essentially numb to crazy-busy.  And those who aren’t, half the time, are feeling lonely or left out, feeling bad about themselves, and wondering why they AREN’T crazy-busy. Either way, we are struggling.

Sometimes it seems to me that maybe we are just caught up in a cycle of plain old ‘crazy’.  Don’t get me wrong…I don’t claim to have any answers for this…I’m smack in the middle of it myself.  But in the midst of the swirl, and on the days that I’m feeling like my eyes are glazing over out of sheer panic, overload and consequential shutdown…I have to wonder…is this really how it has to be?  What is the alternative?  Become a hermit, who has no contact with the outside world and lives happily in my own version of Little House on the Prairie.  Unfortunately, while that may seem appealing on some days (like today, for instance), I know that it’s not what God has put me on this earth for.  My life really isn’t just about me…it’s about others as well.  It’s not about my comfort, it’s about my purpose.  Your purpose.  Our corporate purpose.

We all have purposes, and our purposes, in Christ, work together toward Redemption.

So often I feel soothed to think on redemption. To know that maybe I’m struggling to “see the forest for the trees”, but there is a bigger plan here somewhere.

To allow it to sink and settle deep within me, that it’s not really just about car pools and blog posts and practices and meal plans and social media.  It’s actually about so much more.

On days like today, I’m sitting here wondering, when all things have been restored, someday, back to God’s original, beautiful, uncorrupted design…what will it be like?

What is work without toil? 

What is life without pain? 

What is joy without sorrow?

What does eternity without sin or death even remotely look like? 

Of course, I cannot, in my very finite mind, even begin to comprehend any of that.

But sometimes I find I need to remember that that day IS coming.  My existence here and now is part of, but not the extent of, all that life means.  Someday, there will be a Prince of Peace reigning, and all fighting, wars, struggle and striving will cease.

Think of that concept…no. more. striving.

Complete and whole…and at peace.

That is my destiny.

So when my busy days and draining nights all feel a bit too much, I need to make myself refocus.  I can’t allow myself to quit or throw in the towel.  I need to, like Jesus, who endured the cross for the joy set before him, fix my eyes on not only my circumstances, but on the ‘why’ of my circumstances…the joy that still lies ahead.

I must remind myself of the rewards that come from spending countless hours pouring into my children, my friends and my church family.   I must remind myself that the times…

that I do the thing that I don’t feel like I can or want to do (say this post for instance)…

the times that I answer just one more “Mom, can you please…” without letting crazy-mom come screaming to the surface (major fail on that one today, btw)…

the times that I make just one more phone call, email or text message…

every time that I encourage one more struggler, who is just like me…

that I do these things because I am being part of Redemption.

Because together we are journeying toward the restoration of all things, but we need to hang on to each other, because we are just not quite there yet.  And so, we press on.

And, like Gatorade to a parched runner, I drink these words of life into my thirsty soul today…

From Hebrews 12:

And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne…

…So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

 

And when Mount To-Do threatens to undo me, I will remind myself that THAT mountain is not where I live…but THIS one is.

No, you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to countless thousands of angels in a joyful gathering. You have come to the assembly of God’s firstborn children, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God himself, who is the judge over all things. You have come to the spirits of the righteous ones in heaven who have now been made perfect. You have come to Jesus, the one who mediates the new covenant between God and people, and to the sprinkled blood, which speaks of forgiveness instead of crying out for vengeance like the blood of Abel.

peaceful mountain

So, how about you?  Feeling threatened by Mount To-Do?  Overwhelmed by life?  What works when you need to “take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees”?

photo credit

to everything there is a season…

Posted on by
3

I live in Pennsylvania where we have wonderfully distinct seasons.  Beautiful, refreshing springtimes when we burst outdoors and drink in the sunshine like we simply can’t get enough.  Gloriously hot summers (yes, I like hot!) in which I live in flip flops and take in LOTS of baseball games and make an annual trip to the sandy beaches of the Atlantic Ocean.  Breathtakingly gorgeous autumns that explode into an array of colors, and we feel invigorated by the crisp, cool air.

And…winter.

Generally speaking, I dislike winter…I tend to always be cold (no matter what season), and by this mid-February point, I am usually about on the verge of desperation, in need of the warm light of sunshine on my face.  Our communities seem to battle endless rounds of viruses and colds, and we get fairly intense cases of cabin fever and the winter blues.  I get tired of living in layers upon layers of clothing, and always having cold toes.  But as much as winter is an exercise in endurance of my mental and physical fortitude…I actually would not trade it. 

Continue reading →

20 years…never assume

Posted on by
Reply

This past November my wonderful, amazing husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.  I’ve been thinking for some time about doing a series of posts about 20 things we have learned over these 20 years…  It feels like a bit of a challenge, but I think I’ll go for it.  And, in the interest of not boring you into a coma, I’ll even break them down, as opposed to one post that would take you 20 hours to read!!

I’ve had to determine that these things will not come in any particular order…certainly not order of importance.  I couldn’t even say that any certain one is more important than another.  And I would also like to say up front…these are things that we have learned for us.  The same may or may not apply or be true of you or any other given couple.  But hopefully they might make you think a bit.

As I’ve been ruminating on this thought of what we have learned, one of the first things that comes to mind is…never assume.  It’s practically a joke around here, this idea of how bad ‘assuming’ is, that you can regularly hear us saying…  “You know what assuming does!!!”  (To which the response is…”It makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’…”  Get it?  Ass-u-me…spells assume…  Yeah, I thought you probably picked right up on that…but just in case…)

Continue reading →